Media laden…
Hello everyone!
I wanted to share a little story with you, let me start at the beginning.
A few months ago, I was at a gathering for young people and the organisations that represent them at the ambtswoning of the mayor of Amsterdam, so they could share what young people struggle with and brainstorm solutions together.
I was also there, invited as a key figure representing underrepresented groups.
When I got the opportunity to ask questions, I asked two things. The first was about a question I asked the mayor last year, when I was still a member of the central student council. I asked if there are any protocols in place for students with a disability to be able to safely protest, with the direct cause being how unsafe the protests at Rokin were last year. For anyone, but especially for those with a disability. Basically, the answer back then was that they hadn’t even thought about it, and this time I got about the same answer. They talked about safe spaces for young people where they can feel welcome, and I mentioned that for someone to feel in any way included, they first have to be able to actually access the building. After all, how can you feel included if you aren’t even able to get to the gathering in the first place?
About halfway through my question/speech the mayor interrupted me, saying that I was taking up too much time (even though I didn’t speak longer than the other people before or after me) and that she would plan a meeting with me later in private to discuss the issues above. I agreed, and the meeting went on and eventually ended.
A few weeks later, I got an email from the municipality, the team representing the mayor, or their kabinet. It read that the mayor said she would have a private meeting with me, but what she actually meant is that I would have a meeting with a policy advisor—one I had actually already spoken to quite often.
I wrote back that I didn’t appreciate the way it went and that I felt they weren’t taking the issues presented to them seriously enough, and that I was not happy that they went back on their word and the promises they made.
But well, that was that.
Then yesterday, I got an email about a future gathering on the 20th of June. With the same people from last time, but more specifically specialising in young people. From 16 to 25, and people older than 25 were asked to also bring and introduce someone under 25.
The mail was general, sent to the whole group. I was a bit surprised that I would be invited again, since I was very critical of the way it went last time.
So I asked someone from the municipality if it was correct that I was invited.
Turns out it wasn’t. The response of the cabinet of the mayor was that I was invited by mistake, but that I could invite someone below 25 with a disability if I wanted.
And that felt very wrong. The reason is that others above 25 were invited; they were just asked to also bring someone below 25. But I specifically wasn’t supposed to be invited.
My working theory is that I was too critical, and they didn’t want to include me a second time. However, that might be totally off—they didn’t give any explanation why I specifically wasn’t invited other than that I was invited as a key figure last time, and this time it is only people below 25. But as I told you earlier in this post, that doesn’t really make sense.
I told them in return that I wanted them to explain why I specifically wasn’t invited for a second time, in writing. I explained my theory to them the same way I worded it here, but they are more than welcome to provide an alternative explanation.
I told them that my condition for introducing someone to the meeting is that they would at least get the opportunity to share their experiences and opinions, even if it might not be opinions they would want to hear.
I honestly don’t care if I get to go or not. I have no interest in forcing myself into spaces where I am not welcome and actively told I wasn’t invited—especially not with how busy I already am.
But I hate these useless backroom political games. If I introduce someone, I want them to have the safety and space to share what they feel and have experienced, not deal with these types of situations.
If they want people to just nod along and not be too inconvenient, they can ask other people and organisations—that’s not me and not a position I would put someone else into either.
It might have been more strategic to just not ask, pretend the meeting was also for me and bring a young person with me. Or just nominate someone below 25 when I was told that I am not invited.
However, sometimes what might be the strategically right thing to do and what is the personally right thing to do conflicts.
And at least when it comes to my own volunteer work, the things I put my own time and energy into, I want to be able to pick what feels right to me—what I think is the right thing to do. Act on my ideals and my emotions, be that pain in the ass if that is what it takes.
I thought about it for quite a bit. Some people might consider it to be selfish, and they might be right, but if I don’t at least do this much for myself it is a quick way to a burnout.
I was already thinking about this for most of the afternoon, after I heard the news that I wasn’t supposed to be invited. I couldn’t focus on my work properly; the situation kept swimming in my head. It would have been even worse if I picked the option that didn’t feel right to me.
As such, I wanted to put pen to paper and write this whole story down, to get it at least partly out of my head and onto the pages. And now we’re here!
I might write an email later to the cabinet of the mayor, with the municipality council in cc, with what I just told you—but without all my personal thoughts and feelings. Just that I want people with a disability included in such meetings to be able to speak freely. It depends on what I hear back from them regarding my question.
Keep in mind that this is my experience, the thoughts going through my head and the emotions I felt. From the side of the municipality, things might be totally different. What I speak isn’t the truth in capital letters, but my truth as I experienced it. And that’s what a blog is partially for—at least mine will be. 😊
Thank you for reading my ramblings!
Yours,
Ihab
—
thank you for reading and being a part of my community, it means a lot!
If you like this post and my content and wish to help, please share it with family and friends. Spreading the word always helps. 😊)
Also, if your able to mis it, you can consider getting a membership starting from 1 euro per month. You can consider it as buying me a bottle of wather every month. 😊)