Media laden…
Hello everyone,
It has been a while — sorry for my long absence. I will give you a bit of a recap of my February, and I am planning to write a weekly update from next week onwards. I hope I can stick to it, as it is a lot easier to do it this way than to write a huge post like this. 😊
first things first, on the last day of jan my camera broke. that’s why you haven’t seen any big running video’s lately.
the thing holding the camera to my body just suddenly decided to break while i was running, and the cam hit the ground rather hard. so i had to send it in to be repared.
My February also started really strong, with a nice eye infection. 😊 I know — again? It has been happening to me off and on about every two weeks; it has been a huge pain, literally and figuratively.
I am planning to go to the ophthalmologist soon and ask them to look more into it. Last time I checked, they just told me to use eye drops and they had no idea what the issue was, but it has been happening far too regularly for me to accept that anymore. Eye drops just haven’t been doing the trick. Let’s hope for the best. 😊
Anyway, back to February.
I had my sister’s birthday on the first of February, so we went to her house to celebrate. It was a nice, relaxing Sunday with family. 😊
On Monday, my eye infection started, but I also had two deadlines. I had to finish two essays that I had left over from my exchange in London. I had already received an extension because of an eye infection in January, so I really had to finish them this time.
My deadline was the 5th of February, so I just survived on paracetamol and worked on them on Monday and Tuesday.
On Wednesday, I was in a panel discussion about the Dutch social security system and what it means for people with disabilities. I was there with JongPIT, which is an organization that fights for the rights of young people with disabilities.
It was organized by UWV, the Dutch public agency that runs employee insurance and acts as a social safety net by providing income support, work reintegration, and assessments to help people stay active in society when they lose work or cannot work due to illness or disability.
The event was organized to celebrate the 125th year of the social security system — to look back on how it has worked and to look forward to how it can be better organized in the future.
It is a bit too long ago for me to remember in exact detail, but I will try to summarize what we spoke about. Basically, it is very difficult to get the facilities you need in the current social security system. You always have to fight to get what you need. It almost always starts with a “no,” and they only seriously look into your request or application when you continue to push.
It is also a huge administrative burden to obtain the facilities you need. Not only that, but if you somehow manage to get the facilities you need, they are often lacking. Either they are very limited in scope or don’t function properly. In short, it doesn’t work very well for people with disabilities.
When looking toward the future, we talked a bit about the new government. They mentioned they want to work on the implementation of the UN Convention, which is nice. However, they didn’t actually say how they want to work on said implementation, which is the problem. If you don’t make concrete plans and assign actual funding so you can work on the implementation process, it is just hot air and empty promises.
So let’s hope the new government isn’t full of hot air — only time will tell.
I don’t have very good videos of this panel discussion, unfortunately, but I do have a few small clips. I will share them here:
The panel discussion was in the afternoon; I was there from about 14:00 until 18:00. After that, I went to the library to finish my essays and finally got them done.
On Thursday, I had my first paid gig as a public speaker.
It was the launch of an MDT traject for people in highschool.
An MDT trajectis a Maatschappelijke Diensttijd program in which young people volunteer for a few weeks or months to help society, develop skills, and meet people outside their usual circle. It combines social contribution with personal growth, strengthening both the participant and the community.
It was in Ede, which is about an hour by train from Amsterdam.
I was there together with Annabel from The Happy Squad. The Happy Squad is an initiative that aims to make the world a better place through small acts of kindness.
Annabel spoke about the importance of helping others and what it can bring you and the people you’re helping. I spoke about the importance of asking for help and that it isn’t a weakness to ask for help, but a strength. You are able to accept and acknowledge things you might not be as good at as others and ask people for help with them, while at the same time helping others in areas you are good at. That way, you support and help each other.
I also spoke about the importance of going on adventures and what stepping outside your bubble can bring you in terms of personal growth.
You can find the reel here:
It is on my Instagram as well, if you prefer to watch there.
I had an eye infection while all this was going on, so it was a rather hectic time. I just survived on paracetamol, haha.
In the evening, I went to the university sports center to do fighting sports.
The fun thing about the USC is that you can do a lot of different types of sports, from fighting sports and group fitness to bouldering. They also have a sauna, which is really nice. They have multiple locations throughout the city, and as a UvA student, you only pay about 28 euros a month.
I did Jiu-jitsu, Gongkwon Yusul, and Shorinji Kenpo.
On Friday, I just took a day off to rest — I really needed it. My week was very busy, and my eyes needed a rest. It was quite nice.
Saturday morning, I went for a run with Sunday Run Club. I know, Sunday Run Club on a Saturday. They also run on Tuesdays, but the name just stuck, I guess. Anyway, we went on a nice long run starting at SLA on Amstelveenseweg, going through Vondelpark and Rembrandtpark.
After that, we had coffee with the group, and I decided to go home for lunch. The group actually went to get lunch together, but I decided to go home because I was tired and had a small frustration with a friend from the club.
I’ll explain it, but it might be a bit hard for people without a disability to fully relate to.
I made a friend there that I sometimes run with. She also joined me on my way home the last time we ran with the club because she had nothing else to do, and I said yes because it’s more fun to travel together and easier that way.
But when the group transitioned from coffee to lunch and I was deciding whether to join or not, she made sure to tell me that she couldn’t accompany me home and asked if I wanted to join them regardless of that. Even though I hadn’t asked for help to get home.
I’ll explain step by step why that question was problematic, at least to me.
Sometimes when you accept people’s offered help multiple times, they start expecting that you need their help to do what you need to do. They start to feel pressure or an obligation to help, even if you never actually asked them for it.
That means that when they can’t help, they feel the need to explicitly say so — to head off any expectation you might have of them to help, even if you never expected or asked for it.
This is problematic because it puts your relationship out of balance. If someone expects you to lean on them all the time, the relationship becomes one of helper and person being helped, instead of friends hanging out together.
Not to mention, it assumes you need something without you saying so — even though you really don’t.
The first time I came to the run club, I came there on my own, and I can always find my way wherever I need to go.
So whenever you start noticing that someone expects you to need their help, it becomes very difficult to ask them for help in the future — or to accept it when it’s offered — because you’ll always be wondering if they’ll start expecting you to need their help again.
This is also why I never ask one friend for help too many times. It’s a balancing act that you need to be very careful with. One aspect is that you don’t want your friendship to change into being dependent on that person. Another is that you don’t want to put someone in a position where they have to set a boundary and say you’re asking too much of them — because a lot of people won’t tell you that, even if they feel it inside.
And finally, it dulls your ability to flow with situations and just ask anyone for help wherever you are. If you get too used to relying on just a few people for everything, it’s hard to do things with or without them. Interacting with strangers and asking for help is a skill — it dulls if you don’t use it.
All in all, a lot to think about and consider.
Back to Saturday — I just lost interest in going to lunch. I also needed to go home, rest, and reflect on what happened: what was said, how it made me feel, and how I could communicate it to the other person in a way that doesn’t hurt their feelings or make them feel too bad.
There were no bad intentions behind her comment; it’s just not something people normally have to think about day to day.
So I went home, ate some lunch, and went to the USC to go bouldering. On my way back, I got a Too Good To Go from Exki at Central Station — their food is really good — and went home.
By that time, my thoughts were ordered enough, and I had the perspective to write my friend a proper message where I could explain the situation, my feelings, and what would help for the future in a way that I was happy with. So I went home and did exactly that.
My brother was also sleeping at my place; he was visiting our uncle in Amsterdam. I opened the door for him, and we sat together in the living room for about an hour, drinking some tea and catching up. He was very tired though, so he went to bed around ten. I decided I still wanted to go out, so I grabbed my coat and left.
A friend of mine works at Duke of Tokyo, so I decided to drop by and say hello. I was there for about an hour.
I spoke to a group of tourists first — they were in Amsterdam for a running event related to Parkrun, if I remember correctly. I talked and danced with my friend for a bit, but since she had to work, it was just in between. Other than that, I spent some time with random people and the security guards — they’re often fun to talk to. 😊
I did have one random encounter. I was standing next to the bar when a guy tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned, he shouted, “Are you deaf?” into my ear. I asked him to repeat himself to make sure I heard him right, and he asked again. I told him I could hear him just fine. Then he said, “Oh, that was just a joke.”
Honestly, one of the most awkward things I’ve ever experienced. What was I supposed to say? “Oh, funny, haha” or something?
I had earphones in to protect my hearing, and this kind of thing happens more often when I wear them. I really wonder why. I’m not the only person who does that, and if you think someone is deaf, why would you shout “are you deaf” into their ear at a loud party? Not to mention, I had my cane — so it should have been obvious I wouldn’t be able to lip-read either.
I guess expecting common sense from drunk people is a bit too much sometimes.
After that interesting encounter, I felt it was time to go somewhere else. It was also a bit empty at Duke, so I went to a random club next to it that had more people. I stayed there for another hour or so, dancing and chatting before going home.
On the Uber ride home, I had another “interesting” conversation.
At some point, the driver asked if I lived on my own or with family. When I told him I lived on my own, he answered, “Oh, that must be really difficult for your carers.”
I told him I don’t have carers — I just said I live alone. Then I asked what my carers would even need to help me with, that would make it “difficult.”
At that point, he realized he might have said something stupid and tried to stop talking, but I told him I wanted to know the answer — he brought it up after all. He said, “Well, they would help with things that are difficult to reach.” So I asked what would be difficult to reach.
He said, “Things like the toilet or the shower.”
At that point, I just started laughing. He said, “I think I just said something stupid.”
I told him he was absolutely right.
I mean, it’s not that complicated — on the toilet, you go in, sit down, do what you have to do, and leave. It’s not that deep.
The shower isn’t rocket science either — you have two knobs, one for hot water and one for cold. That’s my shower anyway; others are just variations on that theme.
Having said that, there are people with a visual disability that live protected and initially need some help, but that has more to do with things like cooking and getting used to living alone.
They help you learn useful tips and tricks, and you get used to living alone in a safe environment before living fully on your own.
I never did it, but there are plenty of people that did.
So what he said wasn’t exactly the problem, it is more in the way that he said it, the tone he used and the assumptions hidden in the wording.
And this guy was studying social work — it will literally be his job later to interact with people who need help in some form.
People can be so narrow-minded when it comes to disabilities; it’s strange. They stare themselves blind on their own physical vision to the point that they stop thinking altogether once sight is no longer a factor.
Most people could do with improved societal vision. And good news: you don’t need surgery for that — just good old-fashioned education and awareness campaigning.
On Sunday, I had breakfast with my brother at a nice café close to my house. After that, he went home, and I went to Lelystad to visit my nephew. It had been years since I last saw him. He gave me a tour of his new house, and I met his girlfriend. Other than that, we just had dinner and caught up with each other.
That Monday was also busy for me. I went to uni in the morning, and in the afternoon I had to be in the city of Utrecht.
First, I was invited by a student member of the committee for diversity and inclusion in education and research, from the Ministry of Education, Culture and Science. She knew me from political science, since she studies the same program.
She asked if I wanted to join a gathering they were organizing with multiple staff members and students from different universities, to talk about how to improve diversity and inclusion in the study process — from lesson materials to the study environment.
I decided to join and speak from an accessibility standpoint.
The meeting went quite well. However, people kept using the word “blind spot” in their discussions.
I asked them if they could stop using it. I’m not a fan of that word myself, because it implies more than just not being able to see physically. It suggests that being blind is somehow linked to a lack of social awareness or societal vision — which is very problematic.
Small things like that keep a much bigger, often unconscious bias in place.
I also had a job application in Utrecht that evening, so I decided to sit in a café and drink some tea. The meeting location had a nice restaurant downstairs where you could also just have tea, so I ordered a mint tea and relaxed. I prepared a bit for my meeting but mostly just let myself rest.
The staff members were actually nice enough to bike me to the location I had to go — one of them gave me a ride on the back of her fat bike, haha.
The next day i first went running in the morning, about 6.5 km through vondelpark.
after that i went to campus to study. In the evening, I did Jiu-jitsu at the USC, and later I went to a borrel from AEGEE-Amsterdam (I’m a member).
To get to the borrel from the USC, I had to take the train to Central Station first and then the tram to Leidse. I decided to grab a coffee at the station before heading to the borrel.
However, something problematic happened related to that. I got my coffee and went into the tram. When I got to my stop, I got out but didn’t have anywhere to put the empty cup. So I decided to just hold onto it for now and do what I always do — ask people until I find someone who can help me get to the borrel location. It was only about a four‑minute walk.
However, I noticed that people kept avoiding me. They either didn’t respond at all or just said “no, sorry” without even listening to what I was saying, quickly walking away.
When I eventually found someone willing to help, he told me it was probably because of the coffee cup. Since I was standing there with an empty cup and a cane, people just assumed I wanted their money.
When I asked him why he stopped then, he said his mom was 93 and blind, so he could imagine what was going on.
Come on — can’t I just get my coffee fix without people thinking I want their money?
So I made a little reel on Instagram about what happened. I took a picture on the spot, and later that week recorded a short message in a random snackbar, with fries in front of me, haha.
This is the text I wrote and the video:
Your appearance largely determines how people treat you. Even something as small as holding an empty coffee cup can make a huge difference. But remember, not all help people need is related to money—and there’s nothing wrong with needing money either. So here’s my request to everyone: treat each other with love and respect, and really listen to someone before jumping to conclusions or responding.
I stayed at the borrel for about an hour and then went home.
On Wednesday , I just studied, as far as I can remember. I’m trying to recall if I did anything else, but I don’t think so.
On Thursday evening, I went out. There was a Valentine’s Day party that I could join for a reduced price through sib, one of the associations i am a member of. so I decided to go with someone from the association.
We grabbed a drink nearby first and then went to the party. The drinks beforehand were nice, but the party itself was kind of disappointing. There were a lot of small cliques, and people didn’t really mingle or interact.
On Friday morning, I went running with Sterre from the Special Social Club.
We ran about 7 km and took a nice picture during the run:
A selfie of two runners on an asphalt road alongside a wide river or canal. The photo is taken from above, so the road runs diagonally through the image and the water is visible in the upper left.
On the left is a man with short dark hair and a dark moustache and goatee. He is wearing a white sports jacket with orange details at the collar and cuffs; there are logos and text on the chest, including “nationale nederlanden” and “Running Blind.” He is smiling at the camera.
On the right is a woman with light blonde hair, a wide black headband, and a black long-sleeved athletic outfit. She is also smiling at the camera and wearing light-colored running shoes.
In the background there is a grassy strip between the road and the water. There are a few boats on the water, and in the distance you can see a bridge or quay structure. In the back right there is a traffic sign and a white railing along the water’s edge. The sky is gray and overcast.
in the afternoon i went to grab a coffee with zita from jongpit. it was to catch up, but also to make some content together. she couldn’t run for a bit because of her knee, so we had to improvice for a bit.
this is also when i recorded the reel about the empty coffee cup before the borrel. :))
That evening, I went to a friendly date dinner in Nijmegen with AEGEE. AEGEE is a student association with locals in many different cities, so we from AEGEE Amsterdam went to visit AEGEE Nijmegen to have dinner there.
Unfortunately, the trains were a mess. Right before we were supposed to leave, all direct trains were cancelled until late in the evening. The only option was to take a train to Utrecht, then a bus to Driebergen-Zeist, and from there another train to Nijmegen. Thankfully, one of the people who was going lives in Utrecht and has a car, so we could just take the train to Utrecht and then go the rest of the way by car.
We also went out that evening. There were some hardcore people who decided to stay and take the first train home at 6 a.m.; I didn’t. I took the last train home, around 02:12 a.m., which was already late enough for me.
I also don’t drink, so past a certain point people stop being fun and start becoming a pain. That’s the time to call it quits. Thankfully, the trains were running on schedule again by that point. I got home around 4 a.m., I think.
On Saturday, I slept in late, until the afternoon. In the evening, I first went to pick up a Too Good To Go box at Exki at Central Station as my dinner. After that, I went to a party I found through Meetup in Amsterdam-Noord. To be honest, the party wasn’t that great, so after about two hours I left. I went to Leidseplein and went into a random café. I just asked someone at the tram stop to help me find the nearest place they thought would have coffee. I ended up in a place where people had just watched a theatre play. I stayed there for a bit, had a coffee, and chatted with the people who had watched the play. After that, I went to Het Feest van Joop to go out for a bit, but I didn’t stay too late this time.
On Sunday, I went bouldering in the morning, around 12.
In the afternoon, I had promised to help make a video for a friend. She is campaigning for the municipal council in Gouda for GroenLinks/PvdA. I’m not a member, but I know she cares about accessibility and she asked for my help, plus awareness campaigns for accessibility are always good.
So I went to Gouda in the afternoon. Unfortunately, the trains were a mess again: all direct trains were cancelled. The only train that was still going to Utrecht was taking a huge detour. It went all the way through Hilversum, no idea why. It took me about 90 minutes to get there instead of the usual 40 minutes. I arrived around 4:30 p.m. I went straight there from bouldering, and the only thing I had eaten was a protein bar, because I really had to rush to make that train to Utrecht. It was the only direct one I could find for a few hours.
So the first thing we did when I got there was get food. Thankfully, they came to pick me up by car, because it was also snowing by that point. It took us a few hours to record the video.
she also helped me finish the reel about the coffee cup, by embedding the picture of me with the empty cup in the video. i posted it right when it was finished.
it was very nice all in all. i got to catch up with a friend, and we helped eachother make content.
I took the train home around 19:40 and got home around 21:30. Thankfully, there was a lot less snow in Amsterdam than in Gouda.
Here is the reel we made:
The next Monday, the 16th of February, I recorded the Blind Guys Chat podcast that I shared earlier this week.
The next day, I got another eye infection, but life went on.
I had to go to the Frans Hals Museum early in the morning. I had promised to help a friend test the museum’s accessibility. She is developing a new audio tour as part of her internship, and I helped her test it.
That afternoon, I went to the KvK to officially register as a freelance speaker, tester, and lived-experience expert.
The next day, Ramadan started, so I had to get used to that.
In the evening, after breaking my fast, I first went to a SIB borrel. After that, I went to an anti-Valentine’s Day party organized by Machiavelli, my study association for political science.
On Thursday, nothing much happened aside from studying—or at least, if anything happened, I forgot.
Friday was mostly studying again, and in the evening I went to a borrel organized by Siclades, another association I’m a member of.
On Saturday morning, I first went running, about 7 km. It was my first run while fasting, and it went rather well. In the afternoon, I went back to studying.
Sunday was rather busy. I first went for a run in the morning, about 6 km. In the afternoon, I walked around the Vondelpark with some friends for about 90 minutes. In the evening, I had a date; we just cooked together.
It was nice, but I don’t expect anything to come out of it. When it ended, she said she had to think about whether she wanted to go on a second date or keep it as a friendship. I didn’t hear anything after that, which is a sign in itself.
On Monday, I had another job application in Utrecht. This time, I just stayed in Amsterdam to study and only went there in the evening.
On Tuesday, I participated in a research project about taste–color associations. I had to lie in an MRI scanner for 45 minutes while touching different objects. I then had a 45-minute break, after which I had to stay in the MRI scanner for another 45 minutes doing the same thing.
After that, I had to answer some questions about what colors I thought different objects were, while blindfolded. It was quirky—I honestly had no idea. But it was interesting and paid relatively well. Then I had to rush to Hilversum for a job interview; sadly, that one didn’t work out.
On Wednesday, I was testing the website of future ready design. specifically, i was looking in to how accessible the website was.
they are building a new website, and i was checking it out with my text to speech software to see if everything is readable and properly labeled for screen reader accessibility.
we made a nice little video of that as well, that you can see here:
that evening, i went for a long-distance run, about 13 km.
Thursday morning, I went swimming, but other than that, I just stayed at uni to study.
Friday the 27th, my month came full circle with another eye infection. I went for a run that morning, around 8:30 a.m., for about 7 km. After that, I went to class, which started at 11 a.m.
But I was feeling so bad because of my eye infection that I had to leave early. My head was pounding, and the light coming in through my eyes felt so sharp that it was painful. I just couldn’t focus at all.
I was also fasting, so I wasn’t even able to take paracetamol.
I took the rest of that day to relax. When I could eat and take paracetamol again, I decided to at least go to the library for a little while, as moping around at home doesn’t do you any good either.
In that same spirit, I slept in the next day but didn’t stay home. I just brought plenty of eye drops with me and went to Leiden to visit a friend. We walked around the city centre and the market area, chatting.
And that was my February.
I hope you enjoyed this post; it ended up becoming really long, haha. My apologies—the goal is to do this on a weekly basis so it doesn’t become insanely long every time.
Yours,
Ihab